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A senator and
three of his co-workers take in at a
small bed and breakfast in the middle of nowhere as
they're waiting for the roads to clear up. Unfortunately,
people around this aren't very fond of city slickers
and it doesn't take long before the rich people start
to turn up dead one after the other.
Calling this a horror flick is just ludicrous. The
cover promised a haunted house movie based on a true
story, this was not the case. 3 Below (which is not
referring to the fact that the movie takes place in
the winter apparently, the explanation of the title
is much more laughable than that) is a no-budget
murder mystery that even the dumbest of detectives
would have been able to figure out after five minutes.
Therefore, the twists and turns that it takes come as
anything but a surprise. For more than an hour of
this film, there's nothing going on. I'm not lying,
there is absolutely NOTHING going on. I swear I was
about to fall asleep (I did take a nap right after
having finished it since I was exhausted from the
boredom of watching this film).
The plot is extremely thin and revolves around four
wealthy individuals who are on their way to a
business venture. I have no idea how these people got
rich from throwing out some old man out of his house
in the middle of nowhere but that's not really part
of the plot - apparently. Anyway, due to various
reasons, they end up taking in at a small bed and
breakfast where they're warmly welcomed by the owner.
And this is where it started sucking really bad (I'm
sorry but it did). These business people are anything
but nice, despite the fact that the B&B owner opened
up his home to them even if it was closed. They mock
the locals, look down on them and even talk behind
their backs. It's ridiculous, are these the people
that we're supposed to root for? I certainly don't
hope that it's the psycho siblings that we're supposed
to root for. Oh yeah, there are two hillbilly siblings
in this movie that act mysterious through and through
(we all know the reason why though).
Anyway, so the business people start turning up dead
one by one... after about an hour or so. Let the
pathetic murder mystery begin. This is just a slasher
gone bad... really bad. This atrocity of a thriller
doesn't even know what it wants to be. It's like they
were making up the plot as they went along. The low
budget didn't exactly help either since the director
seems insecure as to what he's doing behind the
camera and the actors are obviously anything but
comfortable in front of it. 3 Below has been released
in a few countries on DVD but not in the US yet, hmm,
I wonder why. Perhaps it's even too bad for Lions Gate
to want to pick it up. That should give you a hint as
to just how dull it is. Save your money, skip it.
A couple of slashed throats and some lame impalements.
Awful country music... that's it.
Atrocious murder mystery thriller that's not even
suspenseful enough to be featured in a Scooby-Doo
cartoon. It's just an extremely incompetent film in
every way and I strongly advice you not to check it
out, even if its misleading title and plot description
makes it sound like a decent film. It's not.
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