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Maria discovers
an abandoned bus in the middle of
nowhere and with two flat tires, Maria decides to go
look for help on the bus, only to find out that there
are other people on the bus who are in much bigger
need of help than she is. While hiding on the bus,
a serial killer drives her and the other victims to
the destination - a fort. A fort of doom.
Once again I've been fooled by a great-looking artwork,
but at least this time I got a fairly amusing movie
out of it. Alive or Dead (or Inhospitable as it was
originally called) is certainly a movie that's so bad
that it's good and is sure to become the guilty
pleasure of many horror fans such as myself. It's
another hillbilly-family attacking teens flick only
this time the body count is quite low and the plot is
quite ridiculous. Also, the movie is just filled with
plot holes and the bad guys seem to be able to run
at the speed of light since they show up everywhere,
even when it doesn't make any sense.
So I'm sure you're all wondering, is this a movie
about teens getting terrorized on a bus? Well yes and
no but the main focus certainly isn't on the bus.
Only about a total of 15 minutes actually take place
inside the bus and there are only two teens - Maria
and Sarah - which we know close to nothing about.
Yes, this time the villains outnumber the victims,
how unusual is that ey? Most of the movie actually
takes place inside a big fort of some sort where the
two girls have to find hiding places since they thought
that going back on the bus would be a bad idea - even
after they've killed the suspected villain unknowing
that there are two more villains lurking around.
Throw all logic out of the window with this flick, you're
not going to need it, it will just get in the way of
you enjoying this campy slasher movie which by the way
has surprisingly good production values. Or at least
it seems so. The movie is quite nicely shot and it
wouldn't surprise me if this ended up getting a limited
theatrical release in some countries. Yes, it looks
that good. Unfortunately the acting is bad all-around.
The girl playing Sarah is by far the weakest link
though and her crying and screaming felt so fake that
it was pathetic - but pathetic in a funny way. I simply
couldn't stop laughing. I'm telling you, this one will
have you gag on your popcorn more than once.
Unintentionally I might add, but who cares?
Alive or Dead certainly isn't a good slasher movie but
it's pretty amusing and will keep you entertained
through and through which is more than can be said
for most of Lions Gate's DTV releases (if I have to
sit through another movie as boring as "Sight" I will
just kill myself). Destined to get several awful
reviews from horror critics all over the net, I found
myself enjoying this so if you're in the mood for
a bad slasher flick, this is the way to go because
it reaches that level where it's so bad that it's good.
We get some guts, a finger chopped off, an impalement
and some more. Mind you, the make-up effects are tragic.
You'll recognize more than one melody from other horror
flicks, this certainly wasn't going for originality.
This is bad, this is really bad, and I enjoyed the heck
out of it. It's got a good pace, it's unintentionally
funny, it's campy and it's just generally a good time.
For slasher fans who enjoy these campy slasher flicks,
this is a must-have but for those of you with a little
more "sophisticated"-taste if you will, this is probably
just crap. I enjoyed it though so I don't know what that
says about me.
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