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Sixteen years ago seventeen people were killed by aquanoids in
a small coast village. Now they have been spotted again and
Vanessa, whose mother was killed by an aquanoid, is almost
certain that the aquanoids will start killing again. But the
mayor is afraid that if the news about the aquanoids come out
to the public, people will get scared and he won't be able to
buy the new shopping centre. When Christina refuses to keep her
mouth shut, the mayor decides to take drastic measures.
Like a Troma movie from the 80's, Aquanoids is a prime time
example of just how cheesy a lowbudget horrormovie can get.
We never get a really good look of what the aquanoids look like
and the plot is too ridiculous and out there to be believable.
What parts this from the other underwater horrormovies is that
the aquanoids are found after like 5 minutes into the movie
instead of having lots of random people get killed off and then
finding the creatures. This is not a good thing at all since
that makes the bodycount a lot lower than it could have been.
The directing is really bad. The opening scene is so dark that
you have no idea of what's going on. Then there's the annoying
shaking, I mean, how hard can it be to hold a camera still?
Then the director decides to confuse us by having 3 scenes
showing
at the same time with split screen. The acting is pretty
bad aswell but Laura Nativo saves the movie as good as she can
even
if she has a hard time saying the stupid dialogues that she
has
to say but she was definitely the best thing in this movie.
I'm already sick of these new horrormovies that look like they
were made 20-40 years ago á la Arachnia. If you don't have a
high budget, make a slasher so that you can make some budget
out of the money that that movie brings in since slashers cost
almost nothing to make. Unfortunately this movie couldn't even
have been saved with excellent directing and a 90 million budget
as the story is too plain and simple to work. Though it did
give me some unintentional laughs so since Arachnia got one
star, I thought this deserved one aswell.
While there are some gory moments, they look way too fake to
be mentioned really. Basically all we get are some ripped open
backs anyway.
As cheesy as the dip to my tacos. We're treated with some of the
most annoying and noxious water noises ever and we also get some
unprofessional piano music and finally, get this, we get some semi
polka music? What the hell?
Aquanoids is really not a good movie at all and only those who
enjoyed cheesy 80's Troma flicks are the ones that might enjoy
this at some level. But even old Troma flicks were directed
decently, this felt as if it was shot in 4 days. I guess you
can't expect much from a movie that you can watch for 99 cents
online. Still, the DVD will feature a 5.1 soundtrack, is this
standard for horrormovies these days? If so I can only say YAY!
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