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A couple of
friends go dirt-car racing in the desert
with their professor. They're all looking forward to a
fun weekend but the professor has other plans. He has
found out about an ancient treasure and he's determined
to find it. What he doesn't know is that he's about to
unleash an army of killer skeletons upon the unsuspecting
friends. Will anyone survive this expedition?
There's a comment on IMDB for this movie commenting on
how everything about this movie is fake and I couldn't
agree more. There is NOTHING even remotely realistic
about Army Of The Dead. Let's break down the things
that could annoy the hell out of anyone right away
since I'd really like to get it all off of my chest.
The first problem this movie has is that it's a movie
about killer skeletons. Skeletons don't have muscles
and I don't care how cursed they are, a skeleton
would never be able to lift a sword, let alone carry
a gigantic rock (which by the way is also very much
fake). Furthermore, I don't think that old volkswagen
cars are very appropriate for off-road racing.
Then we have the CGI. Oh man the CGI. The skeletons
look like some poor gif animation that you'd find on
some 13 year old kid's first homepage that he grabbed
from some cheap animation gallery. The blood is also
completely CGI-made and while we mainly get to see
the shadows of people deaths on the mountain wall,
we do get to see some deaths quite clearly - and that's
not a good thing. Heck, they even used CGI to slash
someone's throat! Was this movie just made to kick
start a new animation company? If so, their launch is
a complete and utter disaster.
The story is also highly unlikely. A lost city built
entirely out of gold is hidden at the bottom of a
mountain. Come on! Anyways I won't get much deeper
into the plot since it's just flat out ridiculous.
I found myself pushing the fast forward button more
than once during this film. I tried to stay interested
for the first hour and hoped that there would be more
action to come - well when the action started to happen
it was actually even worse than when the movie was
slow and boring. I'm giving this movie a rating of
1/5 due to the fact that the director did something
we haven't seen in ages. I mean, how often do you come
by a horror flick with killer skeletons in them? Not
that often and probably for a very good reason. Either
way this movie is a stinker, don't bother.
CGI-made blood, does it really even matter?
Very cheap stuff. Hated it.
It's a movie about poorly animated CGI killer skeletons.
How good could it really be? I thought that it would
have some camp value but it didn't. They've made it all
too serious and it's just an awful movie. No wonder
it took so long for this to get released. Skip it.
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