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Kate's closest
friends have been turning up dead
one by one as of recently. Inside all of them,
a strange artifact has been found. What could
this object be? Together with her ex-boyfriend,
Kate tries to find an answer to her questions.
I find it hilarious that the filmmakers were so
sloppy when making this movie that they didn't
even reflect on the fact that the title of the
movie was spelled incorrectly (Artefacts). Now,
Lions Gate may have spell-checked the title but
when Mary Stockley googles for answers, she still
types in "artefacts" (which by the way is actually
the correct spelling according to Microsoft Word).
Anyway, Artifacts isn't as atrocious as most Lions
Gate DTV releases to be honest with you, it's actually
Quite bearable. First of all, it clocks in at 67 minutes
(don't worry, it does feel like a full-length feature).
Second of all, it's got a relatively original story.
And third of all, it's not shot with a home camcorder.
Artifacts tells the story about Kate (Mary
Stockley), a workaholic whose relationship just
ended. While trying to deal with the break-up,
Kate also has to deal with the fact that her
closest friends are turning up dead one by one.
It doesn't take long before Kate realizes that
she's next on the chopping block and that the
killer coming for her is not just any killer,
it's herself. How could this be? Could it have
something to do with the artifact that has
been found inside of all of Kate's friends dead
bodies? Or is it perhaps an evil twin? She
seeks help from her ex-boyfriend and together
they have to solve the puzzle before it's too
late. Yeah, I know, surprisingly original story
for a DTV flick, right?
Artifacts is actually a Belgian horror film
shot in English language to appeal more to the
international market and to be honest with you,
I could never have guessed that this was a
Belgian film. It's not like watching The Pool
where 60% of the characters sound like Arnold
Schwarzenegger, they're all very good at English
and even have American accents (true, some of
the actors are American but certainly not all
of them). I guess what I'm trying to say is that
Artifacts isn't all that bad. It's got some
decent moments, an okay story and a stellar
cast. I can't give it 3/5 because it's not a
good film, it's just not as bad as it should
have been considering that it's coming from
Lions Gate Home Entertainment (I bet ya those
guys love me for always pointing out how sucky
their DTV films are).
Some minor gore, nothing worth mentioning.
Decent, if a bit noisy at times.
Artifacts isn't a good movie but it's certainly
watchable. It's got some decent moments in there
and it won't put you to sleep unless you're
really tired. I guess it may be worth a rent if
you have nothing better to do, don't expect
anything much from it though.
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