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A group of
sorority girls have decided to spend
christmas eve in their sorority house where a young
boy named Billy once slaughtered his family. Not too
surprisingly, Billy soon shows up and starts killing
the beautiful girls off one by one, but naturally
there's also a twist...
People ask me why I hate remakes in general and I reply;
because everyone either goes to see the remake, thinking
that it's a brand new movie - or they hate the remake
and refuse to watch the, usually, brilliant original.
However, when I heard that Black Christmas was being
remade, I was psyched. The original is one of the best
suspense slashers ever and even though the original
is close to flawless, I felt like a remake could add
some fresh elements to the concept. Unfortunately for
me, this remake removed everything that made the original
chilling and suspenseful and replaced it with cheap
gore, bitchy girls and a ridiculous back-story.
The main plot is basically the same, only this time
it's not a suspense-thriller, it's a generic and cheesy
slasher flick which offers nothing new to the genre.
Hell, it's so generic that I asked myself; why even
call it a remake? It's just another dime-a-dozen
slasher flick. Now, I usually enjoy generic slasher
flicks so let me explain to you just why I disliked
this one so much.
While the original focused on making Billy mysterious
and creepy, this remake gives Billy a ludicrous and
unnecessarily long back-story which pretty much
removes everything that made Billy's character creepy.
I think everyone will agree with me on that point.
Then there's the cast, which is brilliant really but
is a complete waste of talent since their characters
are all flat and bitchy - not to forget completely
unlikeable. They call themselves sisters, but I've
heard of killers that were more friendly
than these chicks.
Another thing that actually surprised me was how slow
this movie felt. There was no pace in it at all,
nothing to keep you interested. If there had been a
remote control in the cinema, I would have pushed the
fast forward button more than once. How could this be?
The original has a great pace and close to no gore
while this has lots of gore and a terrible pace. It's
just beyond me how the makers of Final Destination
could've screwed a movie up so badly.
Which leads me to another question - we've all heard
that Dimension has edited this movie to death and you
could easily tell as well. There are several continuinity
errors and plot holes to be found. But my question is;
even if Dimension hadn't screwed with it, would it
really have been any better? I think not.
Black Christmas should have been rated PG-13 and aimed
at the teen crowd because they're probably the only
ones ignorant enough to be able to enjoy this silly
slasher flick. It's a shame really because the trailer
made this look like one hell of a time. Instead I found
myself wishing that the movie would just end more than
once (the ending is also ridiculously drawn-out). Skip
this tacky remake and stick with the original.
Why? Why would they replace all the suspense with cheap
gore effects? We get gouged out eyes, a decapitated
head, a couple of impalements, and some more. Sure,
I enjoy gore - but not to any price.
Enough all ready, it's christmas, we get it! They've
crammed as many holiday songs into this mess as they
possibly could. It's pathetic.
Generic remake which is nothing like the brilliant
original. This was a huge disappointment for me to
say the least. It feels like any other slasher flick
and lacks the heart and soul that the original had
which ultimately made this a very dull ride.
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