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The girls at a
small sorority house have just hired a
new cook - from Hungary. He cooks them great meals
and they almost think they're in heaven, but in reality
they're in hell. See, the food that they're eating is
in fact the flesh of their dead friends which the cook
has killed and prepared the night before.
I recently read a very interesting article written by
Mr. Rolfe Kanefsky himself on the Fangoria site. He said
that some companies can get away with releasing almost
any crap they want because Blockbuster will still stock
their films. Well, I'm not sure how it is with Anchor
Bay but I'd assume that they're not one of these companies
so why on gods name would a respectable company like
Anchor Bay put out a rubbish title like The Cook? This
is the mystery of the year. The Cook is a title which
you would expect Maverick or even York Entertainment
to release. It's low-budget, it's extremely campy, it's
ridiculously bad and the script is so moronic and
adolescent that you seriously wonder how old the writers
(yeah! it took not one, not two but THREE writers to
come up with this crap, can you believe it?!) were.
Okay so The Cook has close to no plot. It's about a
Hungarian chef who has just started working for a small
sorority house. Naturally this leads up to several
obvious gags with the cook talking about killing the
girls in Hungarian and the girls reply with something
like "That's so sweet". You know, very amateurish stuff.
The girls in the house aren't very interesting
characters either. We have our "heroine" who has a
crush on the cook, we have a dumb religious blonde,
we have the four pot-heads who think that they're
cooler than everyone etc. Oh and I probably should
mention that almost all of these girls are either
lesbian or bi-curious. As if the movie wasn't cheesy
enough as it was!
Furthermore, everyone's in awe of the meals that the
chef cooks up for them; hamburgers, salads and
what looks like a mountain of raw minced meat. None
of these dishes looked very appealing to me. So what
are the positives about the movie? Well, I have to say
that I'm impressed by Anchor Bay for creating an
art-work that actually reflects the content of the
movie. What you see is what you get; a crazy cook,
lot's of boobs and lot's of stupid girls. The movie
is also presented in cinemascope which made the movie
feel slightly less low-budget. There are also a few
scenes that are quite entertaining to be found in here
and it's almost so bad that it's good at times.
Overall though, it doesn't quite reach up to the point
where it's so bad that it's good but almost and for
that I'm going to give it some credit. These guys set
out to make a generic, nonsense horror comedy and
while it's not very funny, nor very scary, it kept me
watching until the end (but just barely). Am I saying
that I recommend that you check this one out? No. You
should probably stay far away from this one, all I'm
saying is that if you've all ready rented it and if
you're reading this just before you're about to pop
it into your DVD player, it's not a complete loss, it
is watchable - but just barely.
A hand chopped off, a slit throat, a meat cleaver in
the head, a decapitated head, and some more.
Okay rock music, nothing special really.
Campy and generic slasher comedy which fails to provide
the laughs that it so desperately wants to deliver.
It's a watchable horror comedy since it's almost so
bad that it's good but you probably should stay clear
of this one, it's certainly nothing special.
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