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Children Of The Corn
VII: Revelation |
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A woman is
searching for her missing grandmother
and learns that she had something to do with
the infamous child cult that worshipped the
corn God "He Who Walks Behind the Rows" and
killed adults. Soon it seems like the corn kids
are back, killing off residents in Grandma's
apartment building.
"Children of the Corn" is one of those completely
pointless where even the original was lame
enough, one of those "loosely based on a novel
by Stephen King"-movies that helped trademark
the gifted writer's filmed works as thrash. This
time the director probably figured that ghosts
and spooky stuff was the way to go (considering
the success of "The Ring", "The Grudge", etc.)
instead of this series' usual explicit violence.
So, putting it kindly, he favoured a bore job
instead of a gore job.
Let's take a look at the characters: we have
our heroine, the big city woman who don't
realize the obvious until it's too late. The
cop on the case who's more interested in getting
the heroine in the sack rather than solving
the case. The sexy blonde stripper who spends
most time undressing and putting on makeup.
The stoned party animal who barbecues on the
roof top. The paranoid, trigger-happy gun
enthusiast. The obnoxious, war veteran
in the wheelchair.
And like in several "Corn " flicks where they've
put star veterans (Karen Black, David Carradine,
Nancy Alllen, etc.) in minor roles to push up
the non-existent star quality, here it's poor,
old Michael Ironside (probably desperate for a
quick pay check) who pops up briefly as a priest.
So what does any of these stereotypical people
got to do with the children of the corn? Nada.
They're just fodder. It's even worse than in a
slasher flick, where they at least pretend to
develop the characters. This is just
a waste of time.
With the whole ghost take on the film, there is
no gore and nothing for the series fans (if
there are any). Still, the supporting characters
get bumped off in by-the-numbers matters, in
contrived but dull ways. Our heroine Claudette
Mink (whose lungs are stronger than her acting)
is left up mostly wandering through creepy
corridors until her climatic encounter with
the corn kids, where she mostly runs, screams
and blurts out one or two one-liners.
When it comes to the kids, the casting agent
seemed to have a difficult task finding children!
There are two main kids (which acting is all
but impressive) through the whole film, then
three or four more in the climax making this
embarrassingly under populated. And if you're
going to have creepy kids in a horror film they've
better be creepy. Cause if they're not, and
just tries to be - like here - they just get
annoying! That's the whole problem with this
(and others in the series) - they never scare,
just annoy!
A very plastic, fake severed head.
Steve Edwards' score echoes a bit of Bernard
Herrmann, but is clumsily used.
"Spooky ghost" take on the Corn series leaves
us with a bore job instead of a gore job.
Stereotypical characters get bumped off in dull
ways while annoying, untalented kids stalk our
untalented, screaming heroine.
Review By: Slicer-Dicer
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