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Two brothers
have just kidnapped a girl in hopes of
becoming rich. They take her to an old cottage in the
middle of nowhere but it doesn't take long before
things start to go wrong. The ransom money turns out
to be tissues, their accomplice is an idiot and they
have two Chinese madmen after them. To make things
even worse, it seems as if their neighbour is a
demented serial killer.
All right so Paul Andrew Williams obviously wanted to
make a copycat of Severance - one of the best horror
comedies ever in my opinion. That movie was clever,
outrageously funny, gory and extremely suspenseful.
Unfortunately The Cottage only holds one of these
qualities - it's gory. The jokes are moronic - in fact
it didn't even come across as a horror comedy, it just
felt like another slasher flick to me. It's not very
clever and it has the most annoying characters ever.
BUT as a generic slasher flick, it's not all that bad.
The Cottage revolves around two brothers with very
differing personalities who have just kidnapped a
teenaged girl in hopes of becoming wealthy. Their plan
isn't exactly waterproof though and more or less
everything that could go wrong does. To make it even
worse, they soon find out that the farm next to the
cottage is owned by a demented serial killer. Now,
while The Cottage may not provide many laughs, or
giggles even, it provides what most slasher fans want
from a slasher flick. It's got a good pace, it's
fairly entertaining, it's got lots of gore and of
course strippers. The pace is really the thing that
makes this somewhat decent because the script certainly
isn't flawless and Paul's directing feels amateurish.
This to me is very strange since his last film won
several awards. I'm not saying that the movie looks
bad, I'm just saying that every time something "creepy"
happens to one person, it doesn't HAVE to happen to
the person in the other room as well at the exact same
time. You'll get what I mean when you see the movie.
So they're sending this straight to DVD in the US and
I can clearly see why. Severance didn't do very well
in US cinemas unfortunately and The Cottage never comes
anywhere close to being as great as Severance. Right
from the get-go you know that this isn't going to be
anything special as the movie is introduced with
cheap-looking opening credits. On the other hand,
I don't think that anyone expected much from this after
having seen the mediocre trailer either. Mediocre is
the perfect word to describe this slasher flick. It's
something we've seen several times before - a redneck
farmer killing off a group of random people, it's just
not very groundbreaking.
If you're looking for a funny horror comedy, look
elsewhere. The Cottage is a typical slasher movie that
doesn't bring anything new to the table. It's fairly
entertaining and keeps you watching until the end but
it's certainly very forgettable and not something
you'd wish to see at the cinema. It's not that good.
I'm actually surprised that this even got a theatrical
release in Britain (though it didn't do very well
there either). Anyway, worth checking out if you're
bored but don't expect anything special.
Enough gore to satisfy most gore hounds. We get
decapitations, a foot chopped in half, impalements,
guts and a whole lot more.
Again, didn't work in favour of the comedy aspect of
the movie, just made the whole thing worse. The scene
with the moth's is just awful.
I'm sorry to say this but it's not funny. British
humour is the best but this one just didn't do it for
me. It's a campy but fairly entertaining slasher flick
which doesn't bring anything new to the table. Very
forgettable and very unoriginal. Worth a watch if
you've got nothing better to do.
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