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Four
stuck-up teens hitch a ride with a geek from their
school to a rock concert. In the middle of nowhere
they run out of gas and are forced to look for help
in a nearby farm. What they don't know is that there's
a killer living there, waiting for someone to show up
so that he can butcher them.
Some people should not be allowed to buy video cameras.
Dark Fields is a generic, no-budget slasher flick about
a bunch of really unlikable teens that get stuck on a
farm with a serial killer. And while this is an
atrocious movie, you can't help but to be impressed
by how far Lions Gate manages to stretch the truth
about this movie. This is what the back cover of the
DVD says; "The concert was supposed to be killer. But
after running out of gas in the middle of nowhere, five
high school friends now find themselves in for a night
of terror. Seeking aid at a nearby farmhouse, their
cries for help soon turn to screams for mercy as, one
by one, they learn that the sole occupant has a serious
ax to grind - and that their chances of survival grow
less as terror increases - in the unrelenting slaughterfest."
That plot description technically doesn't lie, nor
does the kick-ass cover, but it does exaggerate the
horror of this movie to the max. How this movie managed
to get an R-rating is just beyond me. Dark Fields was,
by the looks of it, shot on an incredibly low budget.
The story is ridiculously thin and for 90% of the
movie we basically just get to follow four jerks, oh
I'm sorry, high school friends, exploring an old
farmhouse. At first I thought to myself; "Ugh! This
was probably shot in one day", but ah, was I wrong or
what? You know how I know that? Because Josh's hair
would be styled with gel in one scene, only to be
hairdryed in the next. Maybe he just found a shower in
the old farm house, but if so, that scene must have
been cut out of the movie.
Getting into all the plot holes and flaws would take
forever so I'm not really going to do that. Instead,
I'm going to go ahead bashing the acting. The worst
part wasn't the fact that the actors were fed with
stupid lines and immature gags in every second frame.
It was the fact that they all really thought that
they could act, which led to some hilarious cases of
extreme overacting.
After what feels like 3 hours (but is in fact only
70 minutes) the end credits finally start to roll
and to pad the movie out to 82 minutes, the end credits
are filled with bloopers from the movie (something
which could have been a cool special feature, but
I guess unrated 2.0 sound and an uncut 4:3 full screen
presentation were exclusive enough). Turns out, the
bloopers were actually a whole lot more entertaining
than the movie itself (and they proved my theory that
these weren't exactly professional actors). So if you
feel like watching bloopers from an atrocious slasher
flick, then skip to the end credits, but whatever you
do, do not watch the main feature.
As I said before; how the hell did this get an R-rating?
The amateur rock music was alright even though some
of the melodies were clearly rip-offs from more popular
tunes. The suspense score was quite vacant though.
Another atrocious no-budget slasher flick with an awesome
cover and a cool plot description from Lions Gate. At
least most of us have learnt that good cover equals bad
movie these days though. Don't bother checking this
one out as it's not even gory.
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