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Dead Clowns |
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Many years ago a circus was coming to town with
the train but as a storm made the bridge over
the bay fall apart, the circus train went down
in the water. The cargo that carried the clowns
was never found and was believed to have been
sucked down beneath the sand. Legend has it that
when it's raining you can hear carnival music
from the bottom of the ocean. Guess what, there's
a storm coming in...
This has got to be one of the stupidest movies ever
to get put on DVD. Seriously, there is very little
story and no characters at all. We get to see random
people get killed by some zombies in clown suits
and there is almost no dialogue at all, well who
would the actors speak to since they are all just
random lonely people getting killed on their work
or in their home. As if the ridiculously bad plot
wasn't enough, the movie is shot in a way that we
can barely see what's going on. 90% of the movie is
shot in the dark and I'm telling you, I can see
people more clearly in a darkroom than in this film,
just look at the stills on the bottom of this page.
As you can see I was not directly impressed by the
directors skills. This could've been directed by a
three year old boy, I am not kidding people. First
of all, there are no different angles to speak about,
the camera is constantly right in the "actors" faces.
The lighting is awful, but I don't assume there was
one single light bulb involved with this movie. Then
we have the terrible storm footage. It looks as if
the director has cut together a couple of news clips
of storms and hurricanes since all of the clips look
as if they have been shot on different locations.
Was he really expecting to get away with that?
The acting isn't exactly Oscar worthy either, it's
in fact really bad. But I mean, look at the IMDB's
description of the actors character names; Debbie
Rochon - Tormented Woman, Jeff Dylan Graham - Night
Watchman and the rest don't even get names and
those were like the main characters! And the fun
thing is that some people tend to just disappear
for forty minutes or so to then return for one
minute and get killed by ugly zombie clowns. I might
not be afraid of clowns, but watching this movie
once more would be like my ultimate nightmare!
I actually do want to believe that this was pretty
gory but due to the fact that it was impossible to
see what was going on at any time all I could make
out was that a girl got her eye gouged out, another
one got her throat slit and a guy got his hand
chopped off, I'm pretty sure there was more though.
Well there's not really a soundtrack to speak about
here but the creepy clown music actually works
pretty well, at least in the beginning when we
haven't heard it about 5000 times.
Ummm... This is trash. Avoid. Stay away, that's all
that I have to say.
Review By: AnthroFred
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