|
A bunch of
friends go to a luxury cabin at Crystal
Lake for the weekend, unaware of the events that took
place at the camp nearby almost thirty years ago.
Well, Jason hasn't forgotten and he's back to wreak
havoc once again...
Here it is people, Friday the 13th. If there is one
remake that I've been looking forward to it's this
one. The trailer kicked ass, it's from the same people
who brought us the brilliant remake of The Texas
Chainsaw Massacre and it's a Friday the 13th movie,
it could not go wrong. Could it? This so-called reboot
to the franchise is uneven to say the least and I'm
very disappointed. The last real entry that we got
in the Friday the 13th franchise, Jason X, was a total
hoot and didn't deserve to flop as badly as it did.
I think it was just bad timing with that one. Freddy
vs Jason was also a lot of fun even if it can't really
be counted as an official sequel. This remake would
officially have been part 11 in the franchise and that
is exactly what it feels like. It's not a fresh reboot
for the franchise, it's the same old story, it's as
forgettable as Friday the 13th Part 7.
Now, I love my generic slasher movies but what Friday
the 13th is missing is the spark. It's way too
mainstream - much more so than it should've been.
The characters are all stereotypical and flat and
I could care less about them - unlike the ones in
Jason X. Bunch of rich kids who have it all - kill
them off I say - the sooner the better. Yeah, they
were such brats that I didn't really want any of them
to survive. You know, I have a lot of bashing and
also some commending to do but first let's get deeper
into the story, shall we?
The movie opens up with some quick flashes of Jason's
psychotic mother trying to kill a teen girl before
the girl manages to decapitate her. This is all done
during the opening credits - so they got part one
out of the way rather quickly. Then the real movie
starts... without the title popping up? What the?
Anyway, so now we're introduced to five teens looking
for a marihuana plantation near Camp Crystal Lake
(yep, marihuana plantation). They find the plantation
but soon Jason shows up with a bag over his head
and starts killing the teens off rather quickly. Now
we're more than 20 minutes or so into the movie and
almost all of the teens are all ready dead? What's
going on here? All of a sudden the title shows up
"Friday the 13th". Not in the brilliant original font
that we all love but in some dull plain font in red.
And guess what? THIS is when the actual movie starts.
I guess they just wanted part one and part two of
the franchise out of the way so that they could get
on with remaking the third movie in the franchise
which is the movie that they really "remade" here.
Introducing a bunch of new kids, this time even more
annoying than the ones in the opening, who are on
their way to a luxurious cabin by Crystal Lake. This
is where my plot description ends because I think
you can all figure it out for yourselves from here
on out. There's nothing very "remaky" about this
remake - as I said before - it feels like a mediocre
sequel at best and does not deserve to be the most
successful movie in the franchise - which it will be.
It doesn't even beat My Bloody Valentine in terms
of entertainment value if you ask me. The deaths are
boring, there's no real suspense and the whole thing
reeks cash-cow.
It's easy to tell that this was made by the same people
who brought us the remake of TCM. Why? Because it's
basically the same movie. At times it almost felt like
it was ridiculing the franchise. There are no future
stars to be found in here either as the teens are
all rather incompetent in front of the camera. BUT
let's point out some positive things as well. As far
as slasher flicks go, Friday the 13th is far from
awful. It's just very bland but due to good production
values and a good director it's very easy to sit
through. The pacing is also very good even if the
story is a bit incoherent and sloppily put together
at times. It's got a high body count and some okay
gore. You know, it has everything a slasher flick
needs - it just doesn't have that little extra to
make it stand out - and I really wanted it to stand
out. This one may open huge but will have terrible
legs due to bad word of mouth and it's unfortunate.
Worth checking out if you're a big fan of the franchise
but while not the worst entry in the F13 franchise,
it's certainly far from the best as well.
Slashed throats, impalements, decapitated bodies. It's
got some okay gore but nothing over-the-top. Again,
very mainstream, TCM was far gorier.
Obviously aimed at the MTV-crowd, wasn't a fan.
Friday the 13th is one of those movies that the
mainstream crowd will probably enjoy but the horror
fans will find disappointing. Considering everything,
this should have been so much better, but as it is,
it's a very mediocre slasher film and certainly nothing
to get very excited about.
|
