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Funeral Home |
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A young woman goes out to the countryside to help her old
grandmother turn her old funeral home into a tourist home
so that she can keep the house. Their guests aren't too
friendly though and it seems as if no one who checks into
the small bed and breakfast checks out. Is somebody
killing the tourists? And if so, who could it be?
I've
heard many good things about this flick and went in
expecting a mix between Psycho and The Shining. And since
I love creepy bed and breakfast movies (Dead & Breakfast
and Winter Lily are brilliant examples), this was a must
for me. Unfortunately, Funeral Home disappointed me
heavily. The movie is incredibly slow paced and the body
count is terrifyingly low. In fact, there are only four
death scenes in the movie and three of them occurr after
way over an hour. That means, we're pretty bored through
the first hour or so.
Here's a movie which definitely had potential though, the
story is pretty slick and it does have some potentially
creepy scenes but it never gets very creepy as it is so
poorly executed. The movie would probably have worked a
whole lot better as a ghost flick because as a slasher
flick, this doesn't work at all. The directing is pretty
bad and many scenes are way too dark with bad lighting.
What I did like about this movie however was the grandmother.
She starts out as this perfect grandmother that everyone
would love to have but as the movie progresses, she becomes
more and more strange and mysterious. This was done in a
very good and effective way and takes away some of the focus
from the bad acting by the rest of the cast.
Now, let's talk about the poster art for this movie because
this has got to be one of the most misleading posters ever.
As you can see, the poster shows what appears to be a zombie
crawling up from his grave in front of a funeral home. This
probably made a whole lot of zombie fans check this out
but this is not a zombie flick. Don't you just hate it when
companies do that?
I do have to give this movie some credit though, the final
20 minutes of the movie are pretty interesting and try to
make up for the first hour of the movie. But in the end, it
was too little too late and this is definitely a very
forgettable flick that you don't need to check out.
Nothing worth mentioning.
The suspense score is pretty effective, too bad the movie
didn't live up to the soundtrack.
Disappointing slasher flick which drags on for too long
and might put you to sleep during the first hour or so.
It tries to be creepy and even though it does have some
potential, it doesn't use it at all. Very forgettable
slasher flick which you don't need in your collection.
Review By: AnthroFred
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