Last Sect, The
Year: 2006
Directed by: Jonathan Dueck
Cast: David Carradine (Kill Bill, Dead & Breakfast)
Natalie Brown
Deborah Odell
Sebastien Roberts
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 Sydney gets intrigued by a new online dating service
and since she hasn't dated anyone for several years,
she decides to sign up. What she doesn't know is that
the dating service is run by a pack of female vampires
who will do anything to make Sydney one of them. Her
only hope now is to be saved by the vampire hunter Van
Helsing, but will he be able to save
her before it's too late?


I did it! I actually did it! I watched the entire movie
without falling asleep or pausing it once. Man, am I
proud of myself or what? The Last Sect has got to be
one of the most tedious horror movies that I've seen in
a long time. I mean, just read the story - a bunch of
vampires running an online dating service? How ridiculous
is that? And what's even worse is that my plot description
made the movie sound more exciting than it actually is.

Disguised as a horror movie, this dull drama thriller
revolves around a young female reporter who has just
signed up for an online dating service. Meanwhile,
Abraham van Helsing is on the hunt for a pack of female
vampires, and oh my god did we really need another
descendant of the Van Helsing family to hunt evil
vampires? Haven't we all suffered enough? Anyway, so
it turns out that the site is ran by these vampires
since they're on the hunt for someone who can guard
their powers while they hibernate - and Sydney is that
special someone.

In the beginning of the movie, a text at left corner
of the screen tells us where the scene takes place
(Sydney's Apartment, Van Helsing's Study etc) and even
though it seemed rather pointless, I still thought it
was a nice touch. Sadly, it turns out that the movie
actually only has four places that it takes place in
so after ten minutes or so they completely drop the
text at the left corner concept - in other words, the
entire idea actually was pointless.

Speaking of pointless, the story is ridiculously thin
and even if it had been cut down to a 30-minute short,
it would still have felt too long. Why? Because it's
not really a horror movie, nor is it really a drama,
it's not really anything. It's just a movie about a
lonely woman who slowly gets seduced by female vampires.
Sure, as a soft-core porn movie, this might have ended
up being mildly entertaining, but since there's not as
much as a tit-shot, there's really nothing to keep your
interest. So is there anything good about the movie?

Well, the production values must have been pretty good
as the movie looks technically decent, but that's about
the only positive thing I have to say about this movie.
If you're having a hard time sleeping, this movie should
do the trick, but I warn you, you might find yourself
really frustrated over the fact that they had the nerves
to actually call this a horror movie.


A decapitated head and a slashed throat isn't exactly
enough reason to check this one out.


The entire score sounded as if it was performed by the
same band. A poor "rock" band who should go back playing
in their parents garage.


Impressively tedious movie which wouldn't even scare a
five year old. The plot is incredibly dull and felt as
if it was made up as they went along, and the movie is
filled with unnecessary and dull dialogues. Don't waste
your time with this snooze-fest as I've seen porno's
with more complex stories.
 

 

Review By: AnthroFred



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