Monster
Year: 2008
Directed by: Eric Forsberg
Cast: Sarah Lieving
Erin Sullivan
 
 
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 Two sisters go to Tokyo, Japan to shoot a documentary
on global warming. They barely get to settle into their
hotel room when Tokyo is attacked by an unseen creature.
Before long, Tokyo is in flames, people are screaming
and the two sisters have to try to find a way to
survive this nightmare... but will they succeed?


This is actual footage that was handed over by the
sisters' father to The Asylum. That's right! Tokyo is
no longer! It was attacked by a giant squid that
destroyed the entire city. Oh come on! Why would they
even TRY to pass this on as actual footage? This is
not the Blair Witch Project people, and it certainly
isn't Cloverfield - the title which The Asylum
obviously tried to rip off without knowing much about
(do they base their rip-offs off of trailers?). Now,
let's humour them and say that we would have believed
that this was actual footage, then how come the sisters
have never been found but all of the tapes have even
though Tokyo was destroyed? And furthermore, how would
a relatively small octopus be able to wreck Tokyo?
Seriously, the tentacles aren't very big. On the other
hand we don't get to see the tentacles much other than
some quick flashes at the ending. We never get to see
the actual creature though.

Monster is one of those movies that would be able to
cause seizures due to its atrocious camerawork. As if
it wasn't enough that this was filmed by a camcorder,
they've actually added on all these effects in post
to make the "footage" look even more damaged and let
me tell you, if this had been caused by the actual
camera, this would have been an EXTREMELY bad camera.
Every time the ground moves, even if just slightly, the
camera completely freaks out and the picture gets
distorted. Furthermore, there are no very long shots,
it's 20-second to one minute clips (if we're lucky)
cut together into a feature film with some white noise
or distortion pasted in between the scenes.

Now, about the story... Well, there basically is none.
We get to follow the sisters as they cry, try to hide
in tunnels, basements, cars, more basements and on a
roof top. What's funny is that they seem to be the only
ones really freaked out about the giant creature,
meanwhile people are walking around behind them smiling
and laughing like it's an ordinary day. I'm guessing
that the thing that cost the most about this movie were
the plane tickets to Japan. In fact, it almost seemed
as if these two actresses were on vacation in Japan
and were just asked by The Asylum to bring a camera
with them and shoot some random footage of them being
scared at various locations.

Why I even bothered to sit through this crap is just
beyond me. This was so poorly made, a rush-job to say
the least. I doubt that it even had a script, the
actresses were probably asked to just wing it as they
went along. There's no sense of chaos, no sense of
panic and certainly no sense of reality in it. The
fact that we only got to see some tentacles waving
around frantically for a total of 30 seconds or so
didn't help much either. Certainly you're smart enough
to avoid this movie, especially if you've seen other
recent Asylum productions. When will they learn?


No.


No.


No.
 

 

Review By: AnthroFred



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