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An oversized,
genetically engineered eel is terrorizing
a small town in America. Now it's up to the sheriff
and a veterinarian (well, he's with the animal control
but who cares) to stop this eel before there's no one
left to save in their small village.
Companies producing creature features for the Sci-Fi
channel are running out of ideas and this time an eel
got to be the evil creature. I don't think that I have
to tell you that it doesn't work at all. In my opinion,
a creature feature should feature an animal that at
least someone has a fear of, but I don't think that
anyone has a fear of eels. Sure, they're slimy and
disgusting but they're not particularly frightening.
To make it more frightening though, they've given the
eel a set of massive teeth making it look like an ugly
deep-sea fish (I'm not a biologist so I wouldn't know
much about eels but I'm pretty sure that most of them
have pretty tiny teeth, I could be wrong).
It didn't come as a surprise that the plot was as
generic as they come. Seriously, to find a more
generic horror movie you'll probably have to look
through several homemade slasher flicks before you
succeed. Some animal control guy obsessed with his
silly harmonica teams up with his ex-wife, who just
happens to be the sheriff, to catch the monstrous
eel. Why they broke up? Who knows. She probably left
him due to his annoying harmonica. No but seriously,
she left him because he was too occupied with animals.
Anyway, it doesn't take long before they reconnect
and wind up in bed together. Wait... why am I telling
you this, I should be focusing on the eel right?
Well, the eel is actually pretty cool-looking, but the
problem is that the CGI-effects range from bad to
laughable. There were even times when the creature
looked like it had been dragged out of a bad drive-in
movie from the 40s. I think they had a problem
animating it correctly when it was on land - oh yes,
it can also crawl on land, not just in the water.
I did not know that eels could do that. It seems to
have some sort of twitching problem though as it
constantly flickers with its gills. Anyway,
back to the plot.
So we also have four college students who are helping
a scientist to catch small eels as they are taking
over the river. Then we have a bunch of kids who are
out canoeing. We have two escaped convicts who are
dying for a nice home cooked meal. Hmm, and what else?
Oh right, a diabetic kid who stutters and doesn't
add much to the plot. I don't know if the acting or
the writing was the worst part since the actors begin
almost every sentence with saying "Uh..." I'm not
sure whether this was intentionally or not but it
sounded extremely dumb. Oh and speaking of the word
dumb, why was there no cursing in this movie? How
angry does "Come get me you dumb eel" really sound?
Am I done? I think so. Razortooth is a very poor movie,
even for a Sci-Fi original. It's got a terrible plot,
laughable dialogues, and it's just way too cheesy for
me. If at least the acting had been good I might have
found some enjoyment out of it but it wasn't.
A lot of gory dead bodies and some people get split
in half, CGI-gore, nothing special.
Again with the military music, what's up with that in
creature features these days? We also get the very
annoying harmonica music played by the vet.
Creature features seem to be getting worse by the minute
and Razortooth isn't far from being truly atrocious.
It's barely watchable due to its decent production
values and the occasionally cool-looking creature but
I wouldn't recommend it. Don't wait for this to air
on the Sci-Fi channel, don't wait for it at all.
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