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Rotten Shaolin
Zombies |
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Two brothers decide to go have sushi after a
shaolin practice but what should've just been
a calm night on the town ends in disaster when
the sushi fish unexpectedly flies up from its
plate and attacks one of the brother by nibbling
his eye out, apparently this results in the
brother dying. Well, at least the restaurant
didn't charge them for the food. Anyway, the
brother becomes a zombie and the other brother
has to fight him yadda yadda high school project
yadda yadda intentionally funny with bad humour
yadda yadda throw stones at TV screen.
This was disturbingly bad. What looks like an
average DTV flick at first sight goes from bad
to worse when the "story" gets going. The movie
actually looks like it was shot with a good
camera, it's widescreen and everything. Anyway,
that's not the point. The point is that this is
terrible! The movie's only 22 minutes long (thank
god) and half of the movie is basically just
about the two brothers fighting on a field. Bah!
It opens up with the main brother saying that
he has to kill his brother or something and then
some very cheesy opening titles begin. Anyway,
two minutes later (how the hell did they manage
to drag the opening titles on for 2 minutes?
There can only have been like 5 people involved
in this movie) the movie begins. We get to see
the two brothers practice shaolin and then they
decide to get something to eat at a Chinese
restaurant nearby. Well, the chef comes in with
a living fish on a plate, the fish suddenly
flies of the plate, well actually you can see
two strings holding it up in the air but I
think you were meant to see them since they're
so obvious.
So the fish attacks the balled brother and I'm
guessing that it's supposed to look like the fish
is gouging out his eyeball since moments later
both the fish and the brother lie dead on the
table and the fish has an eyeball in its mouth.
So the other fake cries a little while the rest
of the restaurant people keeps on eating and
ignores the two brothers. Anyway, next we get
to see the brother sitting by his brothers grave
which says "BROTHER - Ate some bad sushi" on it.
I think that was supposed to be funny but I'm
not certain. Anyway, the rest of the movie is
just a long and awful fight between the
two brothers. This should be any horror fans
worst nightmare. Do not check this out, it's
a cheap student film gone bad!
Really really bad! A fish eats a guys eye but it
looks really unrealistic, another guy is found
with his guts lying on his stomach which is
obviously still intact. I'm pretty certain that
we got to see a bleeding coat as well.
We get some bad drum loops, some bad violin loops,
some bad rock loops, some bad techno loops and
some more bad drum loops. The guy who was responsible
for the soundtrack apparently called himself
"Ear Candy" so remember future directors, never
hire him for making your soundtrack.
There's only one thing to say about this movie:
This is a cheap student film gone bad, do not
watch it ever! It should be buried or destroyed
or something, no one should be put through the
terror of watching something this bad! What a mess!
Review By: AnthroFred
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