 |
Satan Claus |
|
|
  |
| Use the darkbrown scrollbar to the right to scroll down for the review. |
A killer in a Santa Claus suit is killing the
inhabitants of what looks like a very small city
but what apparently is supposed to be New York.
The two cops that work in the smallest office ever
which doesn't even have working lamps in it are
clueless on what to do. Will anyone be able to
stop this killer Santa?
I've seen many killer Santa slashers in my days
but this is by far the worst of them all. The
Finnish slasher "Murhapukki" might have been awful
but even that movie had some light in it. I swear,
it didn't seem like they had any sort of light
source in this entire movie and it's hard to tell
what's going on. Fortunately I'm actually happy
that I didn't get to see what was going on for
most of the time as everything about this movie is
just as awful as it gets.
Apart from the horribly cheesy concept about a
demon Santa Claus (yeah, it's a demon believe it
or not) this movie also has horrible acting,
incredibly abysmal dialogues, terrible directing
and the most annoying soundtrack ever. The horrible
lines that these "actors" are fed are unbelievable.
In fact, I'm not even sure someone wrote these
lines, it seems as if the "actors" are just making
them up as they go along. The directing is even
worse and not just due to bad lighting but also
due to the fact that the director usually finds
one angle with the camera that he likes and then
leaves the camera at that angle for a couple of
minutes. That's just sad.
Don't think that Satan Claus will get you in the
holiday spirit because it certainly won't. It's
amazing that this movie found any sort of
distribution at all. Do not check this movie out
as it is horrible in so many ways and it's not
even so bad that it's good, this 50 minute long
slasher flick is just so bad that it's barely
watchable. Avoid at all cost!
We get a ridiculous decapitation, an axe in ones
head and a severed hand.
Too many god damn jingle bells, this will annoy
the hell out of you after a while.
Satan Claus might only have a running time of
approximately 50 minutes but it still feels like
it's a 2 hour long feature. It's slow, it's
dull and it's the worst holiday slasher flick
that I've ever seen. Don't ever see this movie.
Review By: AnthroFred
 |
 |
 |
 |