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The earth
is becoming inhabitable so a group of people
are sent to investigate a planet 20,000 light years
away, which has both plants, oxygen and clean water.
After their teleporting hub breaks down, they discover
that the planet also has a bunch of killer super bears
on it, who are not interested in having any visitors.
The Sci-Fi channel hits a new low with this space bears
creature feature. You'd think that the worst thing
about this movie would be the silly premise, but it's
not. In fact, the whole space bears concept didn't
really bother me that much, I mean, at least they
didn't blame the bears behaviour on some kind of
experiment gone wrong. What bothered me was, well,
just about everything else about the movie. Everything
from the acting to the special effects was just
atrocious, but before I go deeper into that, let me
explain to you what I just sat through.
Many years from now, planet earth has become inhabitable
due to excessive pollution (or something like that), so
a group of people are sent to investigate a planet which
is located 20,000 light years away. How you ask? Well,
with some kind of cheap, Stargate looking teleporting
device. Anyway, so everything seems to go fine at first
but the last guy sent through the teleporter comes
out without any bones in his body (apparently the
teleporter got overloaded) so his body just falls
sloppily to the ground. The other crew members don't
spend a lot of time reflecting on the fact that their
only way back has just became a death trap - I mean,
why would they? They're way too busy being impressed
by all the clean air.
Anyway, so it doesn't take long before the killer space
bears start to show up, killing the crew members with
their giant paws (for no apparent reason of course).
The rest of the crew now have to locate the back-up
teleporter (thank god there's a back-up ey?), while
trying to avoid running into the space bears.
Now let me try to describe these space bears for you
as I'm sure that you're very curious about them. These
are just normal bears, and it looks as if the Sci-Fi
channel just used three or four old stock footage
clippings from National Geographic over and over
again (which naturally made the action scenes
hilariously bad). There was one scene where they had
a CGI-animated bear though, but that bear was just kind
of floating around above the ground (yeah, terrible
special effects, I will get back to that later).
I should probably tell you that we do get to see bear
attacks though, or should I say a giant fake paw
sweeping in front of the camera, causing blood to
spray everywhere. Does it sound ridiculous? Well it
was. I have to be honest with you, I laughed a whole
lot while watching this movie, that's how bad it was.
The acting is, as expected, a complete disaster, and
only gets worse by the minute. The actors probably
didn't read the script before they started shooting
since they all seemed to make less of an effort the
further into the movie I got. And with those kind
words, I'm going to wrap this baby up. If you want to
see a killer bear movie, well, see any movie but this
one. Savage Planet was the most atrocious creature
feature that I've seen in a long time from the Sci-Fi
channel. On the other hand, this movie might be good
as a drinking game where you have to drink every time
they use the same stock footage (believe me, you'll
get drunk fast!).
We get a hand chopped off (hahaha, what a clumsy
person! You don't just chop someone’s hand off and
then go "Oh, sorry about that, I wasn't paying attention").
We also get two decapitations, a stomach ripped open
with INCREDIBLY bad cgi effects and a half of a body
ripped off - but again, with very poor cgi.
The cheap midi music was excessively played in every
single frame of this movie and it bugged the hell out
of me. Definitely a nominee for the worst score ever.
Killer super space bears. Sounds exciting, doesn't it?
No? You're right, it wasn't. Who would come up with
such a ridiculously pathetic idea anyway? There's some
pretty cool death scenes, but unfortunately most of
them were made with incredibly poor cgi-effects so
I see absolutely no reason to why you should put
yourself through this horrible mess.
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