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Scorpius Gigantus |
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A giant scorpion has just escaped and it's up to a
small military force to defeat it. But when the
scorpion starts to munch away on the army buddies,
the scientist who created this awful monster is
brought in to help them defeat it once and for all.
What is that creature that I see on my TV-screen?
Is it a spider? Hmm, nope. Is it a bug? Hmm, nope,
not that either. It's a genetically engineered
cross between a scorpion, a warrior bug and a
cockroach, oh that explains it. Wait, no it doesn't.
First of all, that really doesn't explain why this
creature is three times as big as a human being
as these are all very small creatures. Second of
all, scorpions, warrior bugs and cockroaches are
all from different insect families and it would be
technically impossible to cross these three species
but I guess there's no time for logic when we have
a huge scorpion, oh wait, a huge scorpius to defeat.
What is up with that title anyway? I mean, Scorpius
Gigantus, as if that's really the Latin translation
for Gigantic Scorpion, it shows you just how clever
the people behind this film were, doesn't it? The
story is a big nest of clichés and predictability.
An example of how predictable this movie is: "Guys,
the sensors on my machine tells me that the creature
should be right here". Everyone looks around like
fools. Oh my god, it's sitting in the sealing,
I didn't see that coming! (Oh wait, yes I did). Now,
regarding the clichés we have a lot to chose from.
How about the fact that only one in the little army
troupe is female? Or how about the fact that the
scientist is female? Oh or how about the fact that
russian terrorists decide to steal this creature
since they think that the cargo is loaded with
plutonium (or at least I think that's what they told
us that it was).
Anyway, on with the review. The directing is pretty
average for a creature feature like this and so is
the acting. I mean, Jeff Fahey, does it get more
average than this? The special effects however are
atrocious. While the scorpion looks relatively good,
they seem to have cut back on everything else. In
the first explosion, we can actually see that it's
manikins that are flying through the air rather than
real people. Later on we also get to see a very fake
plastic spider reeled down in a line to give one of
the army guys a scare, now I naturally assumed that
this was a joke from one of his buddies but apparently
they're actually trying to convince us that this was
a real living spider.
Scorpius Gigantus is an awful creature feature but
it is pretty entertaining at times even though it's
heavily flawed. If this would have had a tighter pace
and a shorter running time I would probably have
given it a higher rating but the fact is, a cheesy,
predictable and heavily flawed movie can not possibly
be entertaining for almost 100 minutes.
Typical Sci-Fi channel gore with a couple of gory
bodies, a slit throat, an arm off and some more.
Pathetic soundtrack with too many army sounds (you
know, snares and drums).
I can't believe I actually watched an entire movie
called "Scorpius Gigantus". I deserve a reward for
this. Anyway, this is a very forgettable creature
feature and it just doesn't get much more clichéd
and predictable than this. I recommend that you
check out Stinger instead if you feel like watching
a creature feature about killer scorpions.
Review By: AnthroFred
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