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Everyone is
picking on the fat kid at camp, Alan.
At first it's all fun and games but someone doesn't
seem to appreciate the fact that everyone's being
so mean to Alan and starts killing the teens one
by one. Who could this mysterious killer be?
Did we really have to return to Sleepaway Camp?
Sleepaway Camp was a mediocre Friday the 13th
knock-off at best. The two sequels were absolutely
atrocious (I don't care what any of you say) and
don't even get me started on the material that we
got to see from the unfinished fourth movie in
this overrated franchise. No, I'm not a fan of this
franchise, it is the most overrated franchise in
horror movie history if you ask me. Anyway so now
it's time to return to Sleepaway Camp. Oh joy.
Return to Sleepaway Camp has the most annoying
main character since the dawn of movies - Alan.
A fat brat who picks on the younger kids but who
is picked on by the older kids and cries all the
time and cracks really bad jokes - that for some
reason all the kids laugh at. In fact, most of
these kids have got to be stoned because they laugh
at the most boring jokes ever. Anyway, so someone
starts killing off the kids who are mean to Alan.
A couple of days ago I reviewed "Pulse 2" and said
that it set a new low for DTV horror, and while it
did indeed do that, Return to Sleepaway Camp isn't
far behind. This was actually even worse than the
other horrendous sequels and it even looks worse
technically despite being shot in like 2007 or
something (I don't know when it was shot but I know
it was shot after 2002 at least).
Return to Sleepaway Camp truly was so bad that there
were times when I wanted to shoot myself. It looked
like it was shot in the 80s and slated for a limited
straight to Video release. Even Boardinghouse looked
more professionally made than this rubbish. Oh and
the acting, Jesus Christ, did they intentionally
cast bad actors? It felt as if they had told the
good actors auditioning for the movie to go home
since they were too good. They truly managed to
bring back the side of 80s horror that we wanted
to forget. It's like an homage of the movies that
were forgotten for the right reasons.
I can find nothing positive to say about this
piece of crap movie. It's incompetent in every way,
it looks worse than a cheap student film, the
acting is just horrible and it's hard to comprehend
how a movie this bad gets to be made. Dear god
let's pray that Sleepaway Camp Reunion never happens,
and if it does, let's pray that the next time
around, it DOESN'T manage to find distribution
because we would have been much better off had this
one never even been released.
An impalement, a skinned body, some guts, really
poor gore effects.
What the hell was this? Someone taking piano lessons
but failing miserably or what? Geesh.
If they wanted to make a mind-numbingly bad movie,
well they've succeeded and I can't help but to
think that that was the idea of this film. I don't
think that it was supposed to be good because no
one can be so retarded to actually consider this
to be a good film. A catastrophe.
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