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After an armed
robbery, a group of thugs try to escape
from the cops by car but are unsuccessful at that. They
decide to take a young man, Toh, hostage and flee with
the night train, which soon turns out to be a very bad
idea. See, what no one knows is that the train is in
fact haunted, and the evil spirits on the train have
no intentions of letting these thugs get away.
Remember those first 3D games that were so revolutional
when they came out? Like Duke Nukem and Quake? Well,
let's welcome those games back shall we as Train Of
The Dead sports some of the worst special effects that
I've seen in a loooong time. Seriously, there are
some 3d cgi scenes of the train that looked as if they
had been made on a home computer by the director or
something. It was pathetic. Pathetic is actually a
great word to sum this movie up with as I'm not even
sure whether or not the audience was actually supposed
to get scared by this flick. The scares felt less than
half-assed, the ghosts just kind of were there, doing
their thing. They didn't try to scare anyone, they
just walked around and talked annoyingly much.
Let's take a look at the story shall we? Which by the
way does have some potential. As I mentioned in my
review for "Ghost Train" (which was by the way this
movies' original title), I've always loved the concept
of a haunted train, but I have yet to see a good movie
with this concept. This time, a bunch of thugs decide
to flee with the night train after robbing a school (?).
They take an innocent bystander, Toh, hostage for
whatever reason and board the train unknowing that the
train is haunted. At first it seems like the best idea
ever as the train is filled with rich people just
waiting to get robbed, but when they all mysteriously
disappear, they suspect that Toh may have warned the
passengers. Now Toh has to run from both thugs and
evil spirits. Luckily he gets help from a young woman
who also happens to be on the train.
I thought that Dark Water was the atrocity of the year
from Thailand but apparently I was wrong. Train Of The
Dead takes the price of this years worst Asian horror
flick by far. It's sloppily written, it looks
extremely cheap and the "scares" have all been copied
straight out of more successful horror flicks such as
"Into The Mirror" and "999-9999". And let's talk about
the ghosts for a while shall we? These ghosts really
won't shut up. Not only do they just look like regular
people with their faces painted white, but they're
also very chatty. I never thought that I'd say this
but I actually missed the long-haired ghost girl.
The story is also extremely predictable except for the
ending, which is so far-fetched and ludicrous that
it'd be impossible to predict it... unfortunately that's
not a good thing. Watching a bunch of ghost trains
flying out of the train station was just corny,
especially considering that no money was spent on
effects. Oh and let's not forget about this one guys
annoying hallucinations where he finds himself
stalked by an old ghost woman with a knife at various
locations. One moment he's at a cemetery and the next
moment he's standing on a weird platform in the middle
of the ocean. Expect this movie to make sense? Good
luck! Avoid this atrocity like the plague.
A decapitation, an arm cut in half and some more.
Who was stupid enough to put electronic music in the
"suspense" scenes? Scratch that. Who was stupid enough
to put the same electronic music over and over again
throughout the entire movie?
Train Of The Dead has got to be the atrocity of the
year. This sucker doesn't have a single redeeming
quality. Everything about it is just beyond abysmal.
There are no scares, there's no suspense, the story
is horrifyingly bad and the special effects have to
be seen to be believed. Avoid!
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