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Two
video-game addicted friends break into a mortuary
late one night to see the dead body of a guy they knew.
The mortuary is creepy and the friends imagination soon
get the best of them, but due to their curiosity they
keep looking for the dead body. Bad idea. While they
eventually do find the body, they also find a hungry
vampire who's just about to feed - on them...
I've never been a big fan of vampire movies as I find
the concept old and overused - hell, the first vampire
movie was made in 1922 and since then there has been
countless of twists on the concept. Let's face it, there
are no more angles to approach this genre in. We've
seen vampire action movies, vampire comedies, vampire
dramas, vampire documentaries, and the list goes on
and on, and on. Not too surprisingly, The V Word (which
by the way stands for Vampire, and yes it is a very
stupid title) proved to us once again that this is an
ancient concept which just doesn't work anymore.
The movie starts out quite promising with a creepy
atmosphere and an even creepier mortuary that two
friends have just broken into. Why? Because they want
to see a real dead body (I believe the word you're
looking for is "subtle"). After stumbling around in
dark corridors for about 15 minutes, they finally find
the dead body that they were looking for. But they also
discover a flesh-eating vampire - and from here it all
goes down-hill. With some cheesy organ music playing
in the background, the vampire makes an entrance which
feels like it was copied and pasted from some cheap
70's drive-in movie, and were now in for a spectacularly
dull and unnecessarily moral ride. If there's one thing
that I've learnt about vampire movies, it's that they
should never be very complicated, they should simply be
mindless fun, and that is something this movie fails at.
It's unoriginal, it's terribly slow-paced (despite the
fact that it's only an hour long) and it's overall a
very unsatisfying experience. I sometimes question the
choices of directors for some of the Masters Of Horror
episodes. I mean, Ernest Dickerson has only made two
horror movies - Bones and Demon Knight - and calling
him a master of horror would be stretching the truth.
While The V Word had some potential in the beginning,
it ultimately missed the mark so this is one episode
that you don't have to feel guilty about missing.
We get some slashed throats, a needle stabbed into
ones eyes, a decapitation and some more.
The organ music was terribly cheesy and didn't work on
any level, but other than that the score was decent.
Unsatisfying and dull vampire flick which feels like
everything we've seen before from this genre. It's not
a horrible episode, but I sure hope that this was only
a bump in the road for the second season of Masters
Of Horror and that they didn't start out with the best
episodes - because if that's the case, I am not looking
forward to the final episode.
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