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Jenna has
had a rough childhood due to her somewhat
overprotective family, so when Jenna turned 17, she
decided to run away from home and never look back.
Now she's all grown up and has met a wonderful guy
named Alex, and they're only days away from getting
married. Naturally, Jenna is more nervous than people
usually are, since she's afraid that her family will
find her... and guess what? They just did.
What a horrible, horrible movie! And I enjoyed every
second of it! It's been a long time since I saw a case
of so bad that it's good, and if Wedding Slashers
doesn't fall under that category, I don't know what
does. There's absolutely nothing good about Wedding
Slashers, the story is cheesy, it's got some serious
continuation problems (which I will come back to later),
the villains are ridiculous and the chase scenes are
hilariously bad - and this is just the top of the
iceberg folks. So how come I enjoyed it so much? I'll
tell you why. It's got a great pace, there's not a
dull moment in the entire movie and every single frame
is a second of joy.
The ridiculous story (the entire movie was probably
based around the clever title) starts out in, what
I can only assume is supposed to be the 1930's-1940's
due to the clothes. But nothing else makes sense,
everything from the car models to the equipment feel
way too modern. Anyway, so a couple have just gotten
married and are driving around in their car while the
man smooth-talks his wife with some cheesy one-liners
when their car breaks down in the middle of nowhere.
After catching a ride with a shady mechanic, they
soon find themselves tied to chairs in a workshop,
getting lectured on marriage by some guy in a gasmask.
Moments later, they're killed and the movie starts.
According to the subtitle, it's now five years ago
(this makes even less sense but I guess they mean
from today and not from the opening scene), and Jenna
is out on a date with some guy, and to make things
short; he gets butchered and she sings "mary had a
little lamb" (can you see how I enjoyed this?). In
the next frame, Jenna's all grown up and is sitting
in a couch, talking to her shrink. And let me tell
you, this has got to be one of the cheapest sets ever,
but later on I realize that all of the sets in this
movie were cheap. Hell, most of it was probably shot
inside the same house (we never really get to see the
inside of a church).
Anyhow, to sum things up, she's apparently getting
married to some guy named Alex and naturally, her
deranged family manages to track her down and crash
the wedding. As I said before, this is not a good
movie, it's just a very entertaining one. The acting
is horrible, the directing is questionable and whoever
decided to put a yellow tone on the movie should be
shot. This was obviously shot on a shoestring budget,
but I still couldn't help but enjoying this. I'm not
saying that I recommend it, because it truly is awful,
I'm just saying that I had a blast, and I think some
of you probably will as well, so give it a chance, but
make sure you have a six-pack of beer next to you.
The fake gore splatters everywhere when the wedding
begins. We get decapitations, a chainsaw through
ones stomach, fingers chopped off, an eye gouged out
(and god was that priest a horrible actor if I ever
saw one), a machete in the head, and a whole lot more.
Trying to make the wedding march sound scary is a
difficult thing to do, and these guys completely failed.
However, it all added to the entertainment value.
Atrocious, but at the same time excellent movie. It's
entertaining for all the wrong reasons, but I sure
have missed seeing a so bad it's good movie - and this
sure as hell is one of those. Don't go in expecting
a great movie, go in with no expectations and you might
end up having a great time, I know I did.
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